Wednesday, April 22, 2015

In Memory of my Nani

My grandmother was a beautiful woman. I haven't written anything in her memory yet, mainly because I could never find the right words. My go to, for quite some time now, has been to write whenever I feel upset, or hurt, or angry, but this time was different. Every time I sat down to write, I would end up writing a few lines and then scrapping it all. Every memory I tried to put down on paper, it just never felt the same. Everything I wrote felt too weak. Nothing was powerful enough to describe how I felt, and nothing was strong enough to describe what kind of woman my grandmother was. A year later, I still don't have the words, but a year later I realize I don't need them. There are certain people in our lives that words could never do justice.

Last night, my grandma came in my dream. We say that when someone deceased comes in your dreams, they are visiting you. I've waited a year for her, but she came when I needed her most. In my dream, she was the portrait of happiness. She was younger, and sitting at my kitchen table telling me all kinds of jokes, and then just cracking up on her own. But, my whole family flocked to the kitchen at the sound of her laughter, and we stood their with beaming faces, watching this woman laugh so hard she slipped off of her chair. When I told my mom about my dream, she told me to enjoy the fact that my grandma was laughing so much--it meant that she is happy wherever she is.

I could literally ask for nothing more. So again, I am going to ask y'all to keep my grandmother in your thoughts, your prayers, your duaas, your hearts, and send her your good vibes, and well wishes, and most of all, love.

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