In The Middle of a Bookstore Aisle

When I was a little girl, I used to love going to book stores. I'd walk through every section, trailing my fingers across the wide assortment of spines. Some were thin and bony, others were plump and juicy, some had glossy covers, while some were rough to the touch. But there was one thing that kept me coming back for more-the smell of the pages of so many books, stiff with anticipation, just waiting to be read.

I'm pretty sure that's where my love of reading came from. I literally had my nose buried in books. I would pluck these gems from the shelves and stand in the middle of an aisle at Barnes and Noble. I'd lift the book to my nose, inhaling, and as I exhaled, I'd always find myself grinning from ear to ear.

Last night, I was sitting in bed reading a book that I'd been meaning to read for quite some time. It'd been sitting on my nightstand, collecting dust, while I was away at school. Last night, I finally began to read it.

About 13 pages in, I had the strangest urge. I lifted that book to my nose, took a quick sniff, and then laughed at myself for being so silly. I continued reading, but I just had to lift it up and smell it once more. This time I really took it in, and all of a sudden, there I was; little, 7 year old, 2nd grade me, standing in the middle of an aisle at Barnes and Noble, taking in the smell of a previously untouched Nancy Drew mystery that was just begging to be read.

They say certain scents are connected to certain memories, to certain feelings. For each person, that scent could mean a different thing. And for me, that smell of books meant passion. It was a passion for knowledge. It was a passion for the peace that came with getting lost inside of a story for hours. Inside of a story where I was untouchable. Inside of a story where nothing could stop me from being who, or what, I wanted to be.

As we grow older, we tend to leave behind our sacred spaces. Sure, I still enjoy reading books of all kinds, but the magic, the passion, I'd lost it for a while.

Just because you've "grown up," don't lose sight of what it is that kept you going when you were younger, what it is that kept you passionate. Because, those odd rituals that we performed when we were younger, will serve to rejuvenate us and recharge our passion for life, and for living.

Airplane

As I write this, I'm 33,000 feet up in the air, on a plane back to school. It's a pretty cloudy night and words can't even do the view outside my window justice.

We all love to think that this world, the material, palpable earth that we inhabit, is the cream of the crop. And so often, we forget to look outside our own window and realize that we are all a part of something so much bigger.

Too often, when we think about 'tomorrow,' we picture ourselves married, with a stable job, a nice house, a 'ballin' car, beautiful kids, and what we tend to assume is a perfect life. Only a handful of people think about 'tomorrow' and see a society of equals, a society of prosperity, a society of a content and happy people.

As the youth of today and the leadership of tomorrow, we need to take it upon ourselves to stop looking at the world with such a one-dimensional viewpoint, and we need to allow ourselves to take in the 'bigger picture,' and ask ourselves, "How will I contribute?"

Where I'm Coming From (Part 2)

Continuing on from Part 1:


Thinking for so long that I wanted to be an English teacher, it came as a shock to me when I came to college and realized that I honestly had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.

People around me had known since elementary school that they wanted to be a dentist, a doctor, an artist, a politician. People around me knew what they wanted in life- and that honestly scared me.

I enjoy writing, that's no secret. In fact, I love it. But a career as a writer? That wasn't something I could see myself going into. Sure, I liked to entertain the thought of going into journalism; covering some hard hitting stories that would uncover piles of lies, piles of corporate filth.

But that was just a fantasy to me, nothing more.

So I began to sit back and really think about what I wanted in life. I had it engrained into my mind, and probably the minds of others too by now- I wanted to make a difference. But that didn't help me in any way. You don't have to be a doctor or social worker or a teacher to make a difference in this world.

That was the reason I had so much trouble sorting my thoughts.

Anyone, with the right intentions- regardless of age, gender, ethnicity or education- can make a difference.

Luckily for me, it was as if fate decided to lend me a hand, make my decision easy.

My older brother asked me to read through his paper for law school. I begrudgingly gave in, not looking forward to reading, what I assumed, would end up being the driest, least interesting piece of writing I had ever had the misfortune of coming across.

I instantly fell in love.

I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. It was as if I had finally grown up and made a decision I knew I could stick with.

I wanted to go to law school. I wanted to become a lawyer.

I had never really felt this way about any career paths I previously wanted to take.

I instantly began researching what I needed to do in order to separate myself from the thousands of applicants I'd be competing against. I decided to take a Poli Sci class and test the waters. My mantra very quickly became Law School or Bust...

But the one thing I did differently from my previous 'career epiphanies'- I didn't tell a soul that this is the path I wanted to take. And for some reason, now I'm comfortable sharing this with anyone who chooses to read my blog, even skim through it perhaps.

So, keep me in your prayers, in your thoughts, in your mind. And hopefully, if/when I'm a successful lawyer, I can help this world in the ways it needs to be helped.

Where I'm Coming From (Part 1)

I've always wanted to do something big. Make a difference.

Erin Gruwell. A teacher at a high school in Long Beach, California.

I saw her speak at a TEDx conference and my life was changed. I was so sure I wanted to be a high school teacher. And since I planned on majoring in English, I figured I could be JUST LIKE ERIN GRUWELL.

So I went a few days, a few months, a few years, thinking that I wanted to teach; making myself believe that I'd be a teacher and that I'd make every bit of difference, just as Erin Gruwell had.

I went through my college applications, tick-marking English when it asked for my major. People would ask me, "What are your future plans?" and I'd answer, almost monotonously, almost robotically, "I want to teach high school English."

In comes Ms. Blakeney- my senior year English class's student teacher turned long term sub.

She was this bubbly and happy 23 year old, freshly graduated and newly credentialed, child, that had come to tame a class of twenty-some wild and unruly 18 year olds.

There was no way she would last.

Fast forward 2 months. Ms. Blakeney had successfully gotten even the most disruptive of students to read AND understand Shakespeare's Hamlet.

Again, I was in awe. Inspired by this angel who had come and subdued my senior class. I placed Ms. Blakeney on the same pedestal as Erin Gruwell.

I wanted nothing more than to become an English teacher, and make a difference like these 2 influential and impassioned young women. Sure, one managed to tame a group of city raised kids who had lived a harsh and cold life while the other just took of a bunch of suburb raised, spoiled children, who had it easy their entire lives, and made them read a book; but for some reason these 2 women helped me set a goal.

That goal was to make a difference, change the world for better, do something great.

Why I Made A Blog

I don't really know why I'm starting a blog.

I don't really know what's to come of it.

I just know that I've been having thoughts that I want to put down somewhere. Not necessarily thoughts that other people will find interesting, but it's nice to have somewhere to put my thoughts down. And hopefully through this- my writing will improve.

I want to do something with my life. I want to make a difference; make a change. And hopefully this writing thing will set me on that path.

Wish me luck!